He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
