We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
