Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
