Sry I called you an 8
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
