I wish I could punch you in the face.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
