theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
