I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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