well I can't set my house on fire every night
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
how drunk are you?
Several
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
