they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
