I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
