"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
