He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
