dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
