sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
