I hope my margaritas pass through security.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize