You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
