I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
