Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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