yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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