I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
