I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
