Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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