I wannas sexs uuuuu
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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