HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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