Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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