i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How does it feel to date your dad?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
