Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
me + whiskey = a bad person
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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