Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
