hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
