It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
