I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
