i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Betty ford says i'm here all night
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It was confusing and full of hummus
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
