i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
