You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
