I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
