her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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