I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
