you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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