They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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