What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
