8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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