she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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