So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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