found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
