don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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