Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
