If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
