yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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