for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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