She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
