well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
