It's just like the Real World with babies
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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