You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hippo gnu deer
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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