All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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