Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you made out with another girl for some wings
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
