is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
