Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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