I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
