Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
