Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
