just come out here and I will go home with you...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
