OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
